Collaborative Leadership in Marriage: How Couples Can Lead Together

Apr 24

Being in a leadership role with someone you’re married to can add a layer of complexity that requires you to strike a balance between the personal and the professional. If you’re able to strike this balance, then collaborative leadership provides strength to both aspects of the relationship. We’ve learned over the years that mutual respect, open communication, and a strong commitment to balancing our roles have created success in both our married lives and work lives.

With this post, we’ll be sharing how we’ve been able to deal with collaborative leadership as a couple and how we are able to lead together in a way that not only works, but makes us and the people around us stronger.

The Importance of Mutual Respect and Trust

When it comes to collaborative leadership, you have to have a foundation of mutual respect and trust. These values have been essential to both our marriage and as leaders. Even early on, we always made sure that we had trust in each other. This allows us to utilize each other’s strengths when needed. We trust each other and don’t ever need to struggle for control of the situation. This is why we avoid the usual pitfalls of a shared leadership role.

We also respect each other. We value what we each bring to the table without holding what we either of us does on a higher pedestal. We can defer to one another when the occasion arises and utilize our strengths as needed. It’s these principles of trust and respect that have given us a foundation to make decisions collaboratively.

Balancing Leadership Roles Based on Strengths

When you’re leading as a partnership, you have the ability to designate leadership roles based on the strength each person brings to the table. For example, one of us excels in creativity and relationship-building, while the other is better at organization and structure. This allows us to maximize the potential we have as leaders of a team.

By deferring to each other’s strengths when the time calls for it, we are able to achieve so much more. We support each other in times when one steps up over the other. It’s a balance we’ve been able to strike in a way that lets us contribute and create the best possible outcomes for projects. Understanding this ebb and flow between the two of us has revolutionized how we lead as a duo.

Communication as the Key to Collaborative Leadership

Strong communication is an important part of any partnership, whether it’s in business or marriage. It keeps us both on the same page, no matter what environment we’re in. Keeping an open line of communication also can help resolve any problems that arise, such as misunderstandings and disagreements.

We are constantly having conversations with one another over just about everything. This is also where we practice active listening. It allows us to understand where we’re each coming from and even if we disagree with each other, we at least can see why the other sees things the way they do. Keeping communication open has allowed us to have a strong relationship as leaders and partners.

Handling Conflict and Disagreements

In a partnership, you’re not going to agree with everything 100% of the time. There’s going to be times when you just don’t see eye to eye on something, and that’s okay. What’s important is that these disagreements are constructive, not destructive. If we have different opinions on something, we take a look at what benefits the bigger picture and move from there.

Sometimes, you just have to be able to compromise. This is something we’ve practiced with deference. By allowing the other to take the reins when their strengths are needed, we’ve been able to move forward on projects. We’ve also had to learn to separate personal feelings from decisions we’ve made in a leadership role. We’ve approached conflict in a way that is both empathetic and focused on a shared goal. This has allowed us to resolve disagreements in ways that strengthen us as both leaders and in our personal relationship.

Setting Boundaries Between Personal and Professional Life

Being both partners and collaborative leaders, one of the challenges we’ve faced is striking the right balance between the personal and professional. Setting boundaries between those two areas has been quintessential to keeping work stress from spilling into personal time or personal disagreements affecting work decisions.

Outside of work, we’ve established space for our personal relationship by keeping work discussions off-limits. This lets us just be the two of us instead of not giving ourselves a break from work. If we have a personal disagreement, we keep it out of work to not cloud our decision-making there. These boundaries keep our relationship healthy while we lead effectively.

The Benefits of Leading Together as a Couple

It hasn’t always been easy, but ultimately, leading as a couple has been incredibly rewarding for us. It has made our relationship stronger on so many levels. We understand each other on a very deep level, and we share a sense of purpose. Achieving goals together in both marriage and leadership has given us a level of satisfaction that is indescribable.

Being collaborative leaders has made both our personal and professional lives better. We grow individually and as a team by supporting each other and building something meaningful together.

Final Thoughts

There are elements you have to focus on in order to have a successful collaborative leadership in marriage. Things like mutual respect, open communication, effective conflict resolution, and boundaries, while having the ability to utilize each other’s strengths and weaknesses, can help you in your collaborative leadership journey.

Leading as a couple is a unique experience, one that comes with its own set of challenges but also its own rewards. If you have trust, communication, and balance, you can effectively lead as a couple. If you’re in a similar situation, take time to reflect on the strengths and weaknesses of your partnership. Take these principles into consideration and think about how they can strengthen your partnership. In doing so, you can make your partnership strong and able to tackle anything.

Ashley Ruckman